Men of Honour – by Maria Pasha
by manshapasha
Many a times I and others who like myself enjoy Austen and other novelists, surely must have had to defend our eternal love for ‘Pride and Prejudice’.
Today I’ll try to explain why our devotion is so perpetual.
Once upon a time, many years ago when I began reading P&P, I would find a little corner where I could enjoy this magical piece of literature undisturbed. Here, I would be drawn into a world where men wore tail coats and top hats, women wore exquisite gowns and where the meaning of words like ‘honour’ and ‘honesty‘ still held importance. Of course, the romance was subtle but perfect. Just the way I would want my story to turn out. My Mr. Darcy would propose and I would scornfully reject him. Then he would fall even deeper in love with me….oh the magic!
Sister: “Maria why are you smiling in this weird way?”
Oops, looks like the day dreaming got carried away. Think I need a cuppa.
So, the real question is:
Why do women like Mr. Darcy and Mr. Thornton?
I am quite sure everyone…even men…have a vague idea of Mr. Darcy. No introductions needed there.
Mr Darcy: The ’10,000 pounds a year’ owner of the great estate Pemberly in Derbyshire, England.
(not really..it’s a novel)
Maybe it is not so much about romance or the perfect proposal. In my opinion, Mr. Darcy and Mr. Thornton signify the forgotten values and virtues which some of us still hold dear.
Because Mr. Darcy loves Lizzie so dearly, he puts himself in her shoes and sees himself clearly for the first time after she rejects his proposal. He then makes amends by doing whatever he can to show her that he doesn’t judge her for her family’s faults and that the only motive that drives him, is winning her love.
“In vain I have struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.” – Mr. Darcy (Pride and Prejudice)
For all those of you who have never heard of him; Mr. John Thornton is the leading male character in Elizabeth Gaskell’s late 19th century novel, North and South.
BBC produced a screen version of North and South in 2004 and Thornton is portrayed brilliantly by our very own Thorin Oakenshield from ‘The Hobbit’ (aka Richard Armitage aka Mr. Thornton – whom I first saw in 2004 so he’s off limits to all you girls!- even the married ones – especially you Neeta)
Girls love Mr. Thornton simply because he is a strong man with principles and some ‘perfect’ lines. (Thankyou Miss Gaskell).
Thornton is a supremely eligible factory owner at the advent of the industrial revolution in Victorian England who falls in love with Margaret (a well bred lady from southern England). He is rejected because she thinks he is a hard task master with no compassion for his employees. Over time, Margaret realizes that Thornton is a man who is brutally honest and someone who expects hard work because he works the hardest himself. She starts to respect him and falls in love with him. (For more details…read the book…unmissable)
“…I have never loved any woman before; my life has been too busy, my thoughts too much absolved with other things. Now I love and will love. But do not be afraid of too much expression on my part.” – Mr. Thornton (North and South) |
Aaaaaaaaaargh…and now back to reality!
Nowadays, men can’t even talk to a woman properly let alone hold a door open for her. I heard of a man who made eternal promises of fidelity with a girlfriend of 5 years and then married the girl’s cousin without blinking an eyebrow. I sigh as I am reminded of Frederick Wentworth from Persuasion who is advised by his old friend that his friendliness has been mistaken for love by a girl and thus he is ‘honourably’ bound to marry her.
Another male friend of mine casually tells me he is engaged to his cousin only because (emphasis) ‘he has to marry someone’. While saying this…he has a horrible smirk on his face.
[Vomit break]
Where are the men who actually hold true to their promises? Where are the men who don’t start shaking in their boots or run to their mummies when they hear the word ‘engagement’ or ‘marriage’? Why do these jerks have this disgusting need to try out each and everything on the menu? Why do they have insatiable appetite for using women and playing with their emotions? And seriously….what is up with the endless beating about the bush? Please! We can see through it so stop with the ‘Hey what’s your number? Oh sorry…I was asking my friend” AAAAAAAAAAGH
Sister: “Men like Mr. Darcy and Thornton only exist in novels”
Me: “NOOOOOOO…it can’t be so final!”
But most probably it is true. We live in a different world now and being street smart and diplomatic is considered a far greater skill than being an honest straightforward person.
[This is so unfair]
While I leave for work disgruntled with this thought, a man holds the lift door for me so I can get in. I smile in spite of myself.
Maybe all isn’t lost…..yet!
As usual the humour is so refreshing Maru. You really write well. Do take out time to write more often. Amusing how women through generations nurture the same feelings and love the same novels and characters! 🙂
You and Your Sisters!! Where were you all these years? Late Bloomers i must say! You girls make sure to turn the clock for us with your ‘writings’.Please keep it up. Looking forward to more of your ‘tongue in cheek’ comments on past and present look alike, same to same MEN (and Girls>Women)..Loads of love Maru.
Thanks mummy and aunty ruby! glad u liked it! 😀
Chivalry is not dead Maria! Those of us who are die hard romantics (despite personal bitter experiences and despite being in the autumn of our life) continue to live in a world of fantasy in which a Mr. Darcy/Mr Thornton will come riding on a white stallion to sweep my Maria off her feet! So hang on there!
🙂 your post brought a smile to my face. Love the way you write and much like you I refuse to accept that the Mr.Darcy/Thornton and also Wentworth/Rochester molds have been broken…that would be too depressing to accept. p.s. I haven’t read North & South yet. Actually watched the BBC adaptation after reading this post earlier today (God bless youtube) & have just finished downloading the novel to my kobo. Thanks for introducing me to another classic i’m sure i’ll love.
Dear Atika,
Your comment has really made my day! You are the first reader of my blogs from the outside world and I am so so glad you enjoyed them. Hope you’ve read the previous one as well. 🙂
I’m sure you have fellow p&p lover friends. Do pass it on to them, And i will def. write another piece v soon! Thanks again! :))
🙂 will definitely pass on the word about your blog. As a fellow blogger, I fully understand how it feels when a stranger happens upon your writing. Looking forward to reading more. Which previous one were you asking if i’d read?
This is the other blog:
ahaaa another feminist blog in the making..maria i have a female friend too who dated a guy for 3 years and then married another..u cant just go on blaming the men..n persuasion reminds me of something as well..ah yes wasn’t it anne who broke off her engagement with wentworth just because he was a penniless young officer
Hello Salman…don’t label me as a feminist so quickly 😉
I totally agree that women can be as evil as men and as fickle. I even know women who date 3 guys at the same time and have chosen the one with the most money. But I speak from my own particular view point. I do not fall in that category of women and thus this blog is a reflection of my feelings.
And yes Anne was foolish enough to listen to her friend and break off with Wentworth but then the entire book was filled with elaborate descriptions of her regret with what she had done.
I salute her for that! How many men can you think of who will agree to being breaking a woman’s heart and wholeheartedly agreeing to being foolish.? Few i would think 😉
Hello Salman…don’t label me as a feminist so quickly 😉
I totally agree that women can be as evil as men and as fickle. I even know women who date 3 guys at the same time and have chosen the one with the most money. But I speak from my own particular view point. I do not fall in that category of women and thus this blog is a reflection of my feelings.
And yes Anne was foolish enough to listen to her friend and break off with Wentworth but then the entire book was filled with elaborate descriptions of her regret with what she had done.
I salute her for that! How many men can you think of who will agree to breaking a woman’s heart and wholeheartedly agreeing to being foolish.? Few i would think 😉
hearts are meant to be broken
bright star, would I were as steadfast as thou art..
Lovely post on Men of Honour:)
I loved you as Sidra in ZGH however had no clue you write as well.
Please continue blogging and congratulations on the wedding. I hope it was everything you dreamed of and your better half is the perfect combination of Mr Darcy and Thornton.