Men of Honour – by Maria Pasha

by manshapasha

Many a times I and others who like myself enjoy Austen and other novelists, surely must have had to defend our eternal love for ‘Pride and Prejudice’.

Today I’ll try to explain why our devotion is so perpetual.

Once upon a time, many years ago when I began reading P&P, I would find a little corner where I could enjoy this magical piece of literature undisturbed. Here, I would be drawn into a world where men wore tail coats and top hats, women wore exquisite gowns and where the meaning of words like ‘honour’ and ‘honesty‘ still held importance. Of course, the romance was subtle but perfect. Just the way I would want my story to turn out. My Mr. Darcy would propose and I would scornfully reject him. Then he would fall even deeper in love with me….oh the magic!

Sister: “Maria why are you smiling in this weird way?”

Oops, looks like the day dreaming got carried away. Think I need a cuppa.

So, the real question is:

Why do women like Mr. Darcy and Mr. Thornton?

I am quite sure everyone…even men…have a vague idea of Mr. Darcy. No introductions needed there.

Mr Darcy: The ’10,000 pounds a year’ owner of the great estate Pemberly in Derbyshire, England.

(not really..it’s a novel)

Maybe it is not so much about romance or the perfect proposal. In my opinion, Mr. Darcy and Mr. Thornton signify the forgotten values and virtues which some of us still hold dear.

Because Mr. Darcy loves Lizzie so dearly, he puts himself in her shoes and sees himself clearly for the first time after she rejects his proposal. He then makes amends by doing whatever he can to show her that he doesn’t judge her for her family’s faults and that the only motive that drives him, is winning her love.

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“In vain I have struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.” – Mr. Darcy (Pride and Prejudice)

For all those of you who have never heard of him; Mr. John Thornton is the leading male character in Elizabeth Gaskell’s late 19th century novel, North and South.

BBC produced a screen version of North and South in 2004 and Thornton is portrayed brilliantly by our very own Thorin Oakenshield from ‘The Hobbit’ (aka Richard Armitage aka Mr. Thornton – whom I first saw in 2004 so he’s off limits to all you girls!- even the married ones – especially you Neeta)

Girls love Mr. Thornton simply because he is a strong man with principles and some ‘perfect’ lines. (Thankyou Miss Gaskell).

Thornton is a supremely eligible factory owner at the advent of the industrial revolution in Victorian England who falls in love with Margaret (a well bred lady from southern England). He is rejected because she thinks he is a hard task master with no compassion for his employees. Over time, Margaret realizes that Thornton is a man who is brutally honest and someone who expects hard work because he works the hardest himself. She starts to respect him and falls in love with him. (For more details…read the book…unmissable)

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“…I have never loved any woman before; my life has been too busy, my thoughts too much absolved with other things. Now I love and will love. But do not be afraid of too much expression on my part.” – Mr. Thornton (North and South)

 

Aaaaaaaaaargh…and now back to reality!

Nowadays, men can’t even talk to a woman properly let alone hold a door open for her. I heard of a man who made eternal promises of fidelity with a girlfriend of 5 years and then married the girl’s cousin without blinking an eyebrow. I sigh as I am reminded of Frederick Wentworth from Persuasion who is advised by his old friend that his friendliness has been mistaken for love by a girl and thus he is ‘honourably’ bound to marry her.

Another male friend of mine casually tells me he is engaged to his cousin only because (emphasis) ‘he has to marry someone’. While saying this…he has a horrible smirk on his face.

[Vomit break]

Where are the men who actually hold true to their promises? Where are the men who don’t start shaking in their boots or run to their mummies when they hear the word ‘engagement’ or ‘marriage’? Why do these jerks have this disgusting need to try out each and everything on the menu? Why do they have insatiable appetite for using women and playing with their emotions? And seriously….what is up with the endless beating about the bush? Please! We can see through it so stop with the ‘Hey what’s your number? Oh sorry…I was asking my friend” AAAAAAAAAAGH

Sister: “Men like Mr. Darcy and Thornton only exist in novels”

Me: “NOOOOOOO…it can’t be so final!”

But most probably it is true. We live in a different world now and being street smart and diplomatic is considered a far greater skill than being an honest straightforward person.

[This is so unfair]

While I leave for work disgruntled with this thought, a man holds the lift door for me so I can get in. I smile in spite of myself.

Maybe all isn’t lost…..yet!